A Subterfuge of Sorts
by Rapunzel4
Summary: Ken only wants Aya to notice him, honestly! But when he runs into someone who might be able to give him what he wants, he learns why one should always be very careful when wording wishes. RanKen
1. Wording is Everything

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that I don't own the series, and if someone really wants to sue me, they'll do so regardless of what I write here, so why bother?

Warnings: Shounen ai, weirdness

Author's Notes: I started this on a whim, and wasn't sure I was ever going to let anyone else read it, but then I made the mistake of telling my beta reader about it, and she insisted that I write more. So M.E., this is officially all your fault.

A Subterfuge of Sorts

By Rapunzel

Chapter 1: Wording is Everything

On the outskirts of a small village in Japan, there lay a quiet forest. The trees swayed softly in the breeze, serene and untroubled. It was as if they knew that they were safe from the machinations of man, from bulldozers and housing projects. No development had occurred in the forest for years, and none was likely to because nobody ever went in it, or even near it, if they could help it. The locals all stayed away from the woods, and if anyone asked them why they did so, they would only mutter vaguely about strange tales.

Hidaka Ken was not local to the area, however, and he knew of no such tales. Hearing the stories would have required talking to the people who lived in the village, which he had avoided for the simple reason that he didn't want anyone to connect the newly arrived stranger with the still-cooling corpse of the drug lord lying dead in his summer home. He and the rest of Weiss had come to the area specifically to dispatch the man, and they wanted no witnesses to their presence.

Unfortunately, things had not gone quite as planned. The paranoid drug lord had employed a few more bodyguards than they had anticipated, the result being that Ken was now having to flee the scene as quickly as possible to avoid dying. He had no idea that strange things were said to have happened in the forest at the base of the hill. He didn't know of the whispered tones and the unspoken dread that was present whenever people in the village talked of the place. All he knew was that the trees looked like a good place to lose any pursuers and lay low for a while.

The headset he was wearing crackled with static for a moment, and then he heard Omi's voice. "This is Bombay at the rendezvous point with Abyssinian. Balinese, Siberian, report. What is your location and status?"

Youji's voice answered, "Balinese here. I'm in a tree at the south end of the compound. I should be able to hold this position until all the fuss dies down. You'd be amazed how few people ever look above their eye level."

"Good. Siberian?"

Ken replied, "I'm heading north out of the area. There's some decent cover ahead, I'll lay low there until things calm down." He darted into the edge of the forest, weaving his way around the first of the tree trunks.

"Good. Meet us at the appointed time and place, we'll discuss..." A crackle of static obscured Omi's next words.

Ken frowned. "Bombay, could you please repeat that?"

The headset hissed and sputtered, but only static answered his query. Ken tried tapping the thing a few times in the hopes of jarring some connection or other back into working order, but the thing refused to be fixed. Finally, cursing softly in frustration, he shut it off so that the constant sound of static wouldn't drive him completely crazy. He made a mental note to have a talk with Omi about this, since the boy was always bragging about their equipment and the great care he took of it. It couldn't have been that great, Ken figured, if it still malfunctioned like this.

Moving deeper into the forest, Ken ran as silently as he could, weaving his way around tree trunks and trying to leave as confusing a trail as possible. Several times, he stumbled over tree roots or fallen debris, but he managed to recover himself each time and press onwards. After a while, when he determined that no one was following him, he slowed his pace to a more leisurely walk and began contemplating his options. It was very late, or early, depending on one's point of view. The sky to the east had just been turning a lighter shade of dark when he'd been forced to flee, and soon dawn would arrive and bring him light, which he rather desperately needed. It was almost pitch black under the dense canopy of the trees now, and while he had brought a small flashlight with him, he was reluctant to turn it on just in case he was still being pursued. It wouldn't do to for the light to alert anyone to his whereabouts.

Settling himself down to sit on some bulky object, which he assumed was a log, although he couldn't be sure in the dark, Ken thought. His best choice would probably be to wait in here a bit, but not too long. He had to be at the rendezvous point to meet the others just before dawn, which would hopefully leave them just enough time and darkness to slip away unseen. The problem would be getting out of the forest again. Ken was reasonably confident in his sense of direction, enough so that he was sure he could navigate his way back to the edge of the woods, but what then? The place where he had entered was sure to be watched, and there would probably be guards and soon police swarming all over the area. Ken thought about asking Omi to check and see if the forest edge ran somewhere safe and secluded where he could slip away, but then remembered that his headset wasn't working.

Ken was abruptly jerked out of his reverie by the sound of something rustling in the leaf litter somewhere off to his right. As quickly and silently as he could manage, he rolled off the log he'd been sitting on and behind it. Someone must have followed him. He strained to see where the person was, but his eyesight was almost useless in the predawn gloom made darker by the trees above him. Relying instead on his hearing, Ken listened carefully for any further noises his pursuer might make. For several minutes he heard nothing, then a small plant less than two feet away from him rustled. Acting instinctively, Ken shot out his hand and grabbed wildly for whatever had caused the disturbance. Amazingly enough, his fingers closed around something warm and living and he pulled hard.

Whatever he'd managed to grab emitted a startled yelp as it was abruptly dragged away from the plant and slammed roughly into the log. Ken paused for a moment in surprise. The yelp and grunt that the thing had made when it hit the wood sounded awfully like noises a human would make, but he couldn't have grabbed a human because it was far too small. And yet, it felt as though there were cloth of some sort beneath his fingers.

Then tiny teeth sank into his hand, and it was Ken's turn to yelp. He refused to release his captive, however, opting instead to slam it against the log again, a little harder this time. The creature made an angry noise, and Ken slammed it against the fallen tree again for good measure. With his free hand, he fumbled around, trying to locate the flashlight. Finally, he got it out and managed to turn it on one-handed, haphazardly trying to guide the beam of light towards whatever he had in his other hand. When he finally managed it, he nearly dropped the flashlight in surprise.

The thing he'd managed to catch looked like a little man. He stood barely two feet tall, but it was plain from his face and the long, rather shaggy beard that trailed from it that he was no child. His fingers and toes seemed to be longer than normal, and there was something peculiar about his eyes, but in the scant light provided by the flashlight, Ken couldn't tell what. The little man's face was twisted in a sneer as he glared at Ken.

"Looked your fill yet?" the little man asked, and Ken noted that he spoke with a slight accent, but he couldn't place what it was. "Perhaps you'll be letting me go once you're done staring at me."

"No," Ken answered simply, continuing to study his captive as he shifted his grip so that he held the small person by one arm.

The creature struggled, trying to get out of his hold. "Let me go, I say!"

"Why were you following me?" Ken asked.

"Who said I was following you?"

"I heard you," Ken said. "You must have known I was here. Why not simply go the other direction if you didn't want me to catch you?"

"Well," the little man admitted, "perhaps I was then. But only because I was wondering what you'd be doing in this forest. You've no right to be here; this is my forest."

Ken raised his eyebrows. "Yours?" he said disbelievingly.

"That's right, mine," said the little man, jutting his chin out. "And you're trespassing in it. I just thought to scare you off."

"How is this your forest?" Ken demanded. "You're not even from Japan."

"And how do you know?"

"We don't get little people like you in Japan," Ken said.

His captive sighed. "All right, so you've got me there. I'm one of the wee folk from Scotland."

"Then why aren't you there?" Ken wanted to know.

"Because they exiled me," the little man snapped. "So now I live in this forest, which you, Sir, are trespassing in."

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time. You still haven't told me what makes this forest yours. It's not like your ancestors have lived here a long time. Do you have papers saying you own it?"

"You humans and your stupid papers," the little man spat. "No, I've no such things, but this forest is mine I say. I'm the only one who ever goes here, and I punish all trespassers who dare to come here." He smiled at Ken unpleasantly.

"Then why haven't you punished me yet?" Ken asked.

"Well, you have to let me go first."

"What, so it's 'Release me so I can punish you.'? Oh, yeah, that's gonna make me let you go," Ken muttered sarcastically.

"Well," the man said, looking thoughtful, "perhaps if you release me, I'll be nice and just forget about the punishing part."

"Fat chance," Ken muttered.

"Very well, if you let me go, I'll leave you alone, **and** I'll lead you to my gold."

"I thought leprechauns were the ones who had gold," Ken said, scrunching his brows in confusion. "Didn't you say you were from Scotland?"

The little man grimaced. "Yes, well, we're related to leprechauns. They're just the next isle over, after all. So, what do you say? Will you let me go if I take you to the gold?"

"What would I want with gold?" Ken wondered aloud. He couldn't think of anything he'd use it for. It wasn't as though he wanted for money; his job paid quite well. What he really wanted for was ways to spend it. The restrictions placed on him by Kritiker made that more difficult.

The little man was staring at him with incredulity and a little despair. He'd never yet encountered a human that hadn't gone for the gold trick, and he wasn't quite sure what to do. After thinking about it for a moment, he said, "Well, if it's not gold you want, what is it? I've magic, you know, I might be able to maybe grant a wish or two in return for my freedom."

Ken opened his mouth to say he wasn't interested in that either, then paused. If the little man was telling the truth, did that mean he could grant **any** wish? Ken wasn't sure it was right to ask, really he should be able to just handle things on his own, but damn it the prospect was just so tempting...

"Any wish?" Ken asked cautiously.

"Just name it," the little man said, some of his confidence returning with his captor's interest in this new offer.

"Well," Ken murmured, catching his lip between his teeth and worrying it slightly, "see, there's this guy on my team..."

"Ah," said the little man. "A rivalry, perhaps? You want me to make trouble for him?"

"No!" Ken cried, looking alarmed by the prospect. "Don't you dare do anything to him!" He shook his captive threateningly to emphasize his words. "It's not a rivalry, and I don't want trouble for him, although he can be a real jerk at times. See, I like this guy. I mean, I really like him, but he never pays attention to me. The only people he ever pays any attention to are his sister and that Sakura chick. She's always showing up at the shop too, looking for him, it's really annoying. I swear that girl has been taking lessons from Ouka."

"Hm," the little man said thoughtfully, and Ken suddenly had an image of him as a psychiatrist, notebook in hand, listening attentively while Ken lay on a couch and poured out his life story. "You want me to make you more noticeable to this fellow, is that it?"

"Yes!" Ken answered back excitedly. "That's it exactly. I just want him to notice me and like me." 'Maybe even love me,' he added silently, but he didn't dare say that aloud. There were some things one simply didn't wish for out loud. Besides, if this leprechaun's relative could get Aya to notice him, Ken hoped he'd be able to take care of the rest by himself.

"Well," the little man said, rubbing at his chin with his free hand, "I suppose that wouldn't be so difficult. If you'll just let go of my arm, I'll do something about it."

Ken frowned at him. "If I let go of you, no funny business, okay?"

The little man looked affronted that he had even suggested such a possibility. "Sir," he said stiffly, "I'll be granting your wish, and nothing else, I swear."

"All right then," Ken said doubtfully, and let go.

The little man pulled away and pointedly brushed off his coat sleeve where Ken had grabbed him, smoothing the cloth into immaculate order. Then he moved to stand in front of Ken, who was still cautiously training the flashlight on him, and stood very stiffly to attention. His hands began to move in front of him, forming intricate patterns as he mumbled something Ken couldn't understand under his breath. Belatedly, Ken realized that that was why he'd been safe from the man's magic before; he needed both hands free to perform spells. Then there was a blinding flash of light, and Ken cried out as he was engulfed in brightness. He felt himself falling, but was powerless to stop it and so he hit the ground with a thud and lay still for a very long time.

/-/-/-/

Awakening was a slow process for Ken. First came the realization that he was dreadfully cold and that whatever surface he was lying on was uneven and uncomfortable. Then as higher brain function gradually returned, it occurred to him that he probably wasn't supposed to be sprawled out flat on his back. Wasn't he supposed to be on a mission or something? But he thought he remembered finishing that mission and...

Ken sat bolt upright as he remembered the forest and his strange encounter there. He recalled his wish and wondered what the little man had done about it, aside from knocking him out cold, which wasn't very helpful. He supposed he would have to wait until he saw Aya before he could tell if there was a difference. Meeting Aya... Ken suddenly groaned aloud, clapping his hand to his forehead in dismay. The rendezvous! A glance around at the level of light filtering through the leaves told him that it must be past dawn already. He hadn't met with the others at the proper time! Aya was going to kill him! Probably Omi too. At the very least, the little blond would be peeved with Ken for making him worry unnecessarily.

Leaping to his feet, Ken snatched up the flashlight from where it lay in the leaf litter, still emitting a feeble glow. He took off running in what he was reasonably sure was the direction he'd come from, no longer caring that there might be guards or police at the edge of the woods there. The thought first and foremost in his mind was that he had to find his team as soon as possible. He ran a little faster, only to stop short suddenly as he felt a bounce and tug at his chest. That hurt, damn it! Ken brought one hand up to press against the area in question, only to freeze in shock.

Underneath his hand was considerably more flesh than he remembered having there. For a moment, an insane idea passed through his head that maybe he had managed to gain quite a bit of weight in a short space of time. But no, that couldn't be it, because when he slid his hand down to his stomach, it was flat enough. With a growing sense of horror, Ken looked down at himself. He quickly came to the conclusion that the body he was looking at was not the one he was used to. Nor was his chest the only affected area; his hips seemed to have grown considerably, leaving his waist looking narrow by comparison. Oh God, he had curves...

Wildly, Ken looked around for the little man who had misinterpreted his wish, but his tormentor seemed to have had the good sense to flee before Ken awoke. Making a sound of rage deep in his throat, Ken pulled at his hair, one of the few things unaffected by the transformation.

"You bastard!" Ken shrieked, his voice at least an octave higher than he was used to hearing it. "You turned me into a girl!"

Tbc...


	2. Something's Different About You

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that I don't own the series, and if someone really wants to sue me, they'll do so regardless of what I write here, so why bother?

Warnings: Shounen ai, weirdness

Author's Notes: I really shouldn't be working on this right now, but my beta reader requested that I finish another chapter before starting any new projects. Updates on this and all other stories will probably be slow until at least the end of the quarter. Cursed is the Medieval Studies class, for it has eaten my life...

A Subterfuge of Sorts

By Rapunzel

Chapter 2: Something's Different About You...

Aya was worried.

Oh, he could deny it all he wanted, and indeed he would have had anyone dared to suggest such a thing to him. Fortunately, Youji and Omi knew him well enough to know when such comments would be unappreciated, and so they both sat and observed the signs of concern, the pacing and frequent glances at the time, without comment. Possibly Omi wouldn't have commented even if he hadn't known Aya so well; he was distracted with worry of his own.

"Ken-kun's over an hour late," he said urgently to Youji. "Something must have happened to him. We should go look for him."

"Now, now, chibi," Youji said as soothingly as he could, "he said he would have to lay low for a while. Give him some more time." He had been repeating that reassurance for the past hour or so, and it had little effect on Omi, who chewed his lower lip in a concerned fashion, or on Aya, whose eyebrow twitched before he spun on his heel and began another round of pacing. Truthfully, even Youji was finding it hard to believe the words he kept saying to calm the others.

What had them all so on edge was not only Ken's absence at the meeting place, but also their failure to rouse him on the communicator. Omi had tried numerous times, but received no response. Youji had pointed out that perhaps if Ken had been in danger of being caught, he might have turned off the device to avoid distraction or so his pursuers wouldn't hear him, but the more time passed without any contact from their missing teammate, the harder Youji found it to believe that. Still, Aya was officially in charge of the field portion of this mission, and until he gave the orders to start searching, all Youji could do was try to comfort and reassure his younger teammate and himself as best he could.

Aya tried his best to ignore the other two as he stalked by them, turned, and stalked by them again. He was in no mood to listen to Omi's fretting or Youji's attempts at reassurance. He had his own issues to deal with. Inside his mind, responsibility was warring with personal feeling. On the one hand, to return to the site of the last mission to look for their missing teammate would be dangerous in the extreme. For strangers to put in an appearance at the scene of a crime now would look suspicious, and Aya knew that he shouldn't risk Weiss being exposed or its members being captured by such a rash act. On the other hand, one of those members was probably already in danger, and Aya felt a panicked chill in him when he considered the possibility that Ken might not be coming back. The need to seek out the brunet and ensure his safe return was almost overwhelming, and Aya found himself getting more and more agitated as he continued to deny that urge for the sake of the team. What he wanted was for Ken to appear, safe and unharmed, and put an end to his dilemma.

Finally, as if in answer to a prayer Aya would never have acknowledged came from him, Omi's voice rang out in surprised relief. "Ken-kun!"

Aya whirled around to look where Omi was looking, and sure enough, there was Ken, one hand clutching his jacket closed, his head down to study the ground under his feet as he walked towards them. Aya noted this as distinctly unKen-like behavior, and a flash of concern returned to him, but it was mostly drowned out by the overwhelming relief at seeing that head of brown hair and its owner well enough to walk on his own.

"Ken-kun!" Omi cried, rushing over to meet the new arrival. "Where have you been? We were worried."

Ken shuffled his feet slightly, but did not lift his head or reply verbally.

Youji and Aya both moved towards their comrade in concern. "Hey, Kenken, is everything okay?"

Ken made a shrugging gesture, but still did not speak.

Now thoroughly alarmed by his silence, Aya snapped, "Siberian, report!"

Finally, Ken lifted his head and raised nervous brown eyes to look at them. Licking his lips apprehensively, Ken said, "Um, guys, you're not going to believe this..."

Aya stared at him in shock. The voice coming from that mouth was not the one he was used to hearing; it was much higher. And yet the words and the inflection in them sounded like Ken...

Youji frowned, evidently having noticed the change as well. "Ken, what happened to your voice?" he asked.

"Um..." Ken said, still in that abnormally high voice.

Omi's eyes widened in shock. "Ken-kun," he whispered. "You don't have an Adam's apple."

Ken swallowed nervously, and as he watched the movements of that strong neck, Aya realized that Omi was right. But how on earth could Ken have lost such a thing in such a short space of time?

"That's not the only thing that's changed," Ken muttered gloomily. So saying, he removed his leather mission jacket, leaving only the shirt underneath it. At first, Aya frowned in confusion, not noticing the changes the coat had concealed. Then he realized that the shirt protruded slightly in two points on Ken's chest, and that it hung rather loosely around his waist. The orange sweater he usually wore tied around his waist seemed rather loose as well. The differences were subtle, but definitely there. But that was impossible...

"Wait a minute," Youji breathed, his eyebrows almost into his hair, "you look like a girl!"

"Yeah," Ken muttered. "I am."

"You are?" Omi repeated uncomprehendingly.

"Yeah," Ken muttered, looking incredibly depressed. "I checked." Brown eyes took in the various expressions of shock on the faces of the other three, and Ken sighed. "I told you you wouldn't believe me."

"But," Aya managed, still unable to comprehend that this was happening, "how? It's impossible."

"You aren't going to believe that part either," Ken said.

Youji stepped in front of Ken and surveyed his comrade critically. "Aya's right; it should be impossible, at least in the amount of time you had," he said, frowning as he moved in a slow circle around Ken. "But you certainly do look like a girl." He stopped his circling just behind Ken, still frowning thoughtfully.

"Ken-kun..." Omi began, then thought about it for a moment, and tried again, "I mean, Ken-chan..."

He trailed off as he saw look that came over Ken's face. "Don't you even think about calling me that!" Ken cried indignantly. "I know this is weird and strange and not supposed to happen, but I am still a guy, do you hear me? I'm a guy!"

Abruptly, a pair of hands materialized from under Ken's arms and clamped themselves over the fleshy protrusions on Ken's chest. "A guy, huh?" Youji said, ignoring the way Ken's eyes went wide with shock. "With mosquito bites like these, I could almost believe it."

Brown eyes narrowed in anger as Ken did what any sensible girl would have done. He let out an enraged scream and then whirled around with the lightning speed trained into him by his assassin work and punched Youji straight on the jaw. Youji went sprawling backwards into the dirt, and Ken made as if to jump after him and continue the beating, but Aya quickly put a stop to that by grabbing Ken's shirt collar.

"You fucking bastard!" Ken screamed, the new voice allowing him to reach a pitch and volume that made the others cringe slightly. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

Youji sat up, rubbing his jaw ruefully. "Well, your strength sure hasn't suffered any," he muttered, grimacing slightly in pain. "There's no need to get so angry, Kenken, I was just checking. Those certainly feel real enough, although they are a bit on the small side."

"Youji-kun," Omi said, giving the older blond a critical look, "that wasn't very nice of you."

"Small?" Ken repeated incredulously. "You call these," an accusing finger pointed at the body part in question, "small! They fucking bounce every time I try to run! It hurts like hell!"

"Trust me, Ken," Youji said, "by women's standards, those things are tiny. And I would know. I have had a certain amount of experience with the fairer sex."

"Kudou," Aya interjected, scowling at Youji, who was still sitting in the dirt, "if you don't have anything helpful to say, shut up." He turned to Ken, whose shirt collar was still in his grip and admonished, "You can't kill him, however annoying he is."

"He groped me!" Ken responded indignantly. "The bastard groped me! I can't believe he did that!"

Aya, who could easily believe it, simply shook his head and cautiously released Ken's collar. After observing that his captive, while still fuming, made no attempt to go after Youji again, Aya demanded, "Now, tell us how this happened, and make it quick. We should have left here hours ago."

Ken's gaze dropped to the ground and he started shuffling his feet slightly. Aya, recognizing all the signs of reluctance, said, "Don't worry about us not believing you. I think at this point, after what's happened, we can all agree that almost anything is possible."

"Um," Ken began, "see, it's kind of weird how it happened. I went into that woody area just north of the target's house because I needed somewhere to hide."

"You contacted us to tell us that was your plan," Omi put in.

"Yeah," Ken said. "Funny thing is, right after I told you that, the communicator went dead, so I turned it off. Then I ran into this funny little guy who said that he was one of the little people from Scotland or something. Anyway, I'd caught him, and he wanted me to let him go, so he told me that if I did, he'd grant me a wish. But then he misunderstood, or maybe he was just pissed at me anyway, so he turned me into a girl."

The others remained silent for a moment, trying to process what Ken had just told them. It was a strange story, to be sure. No wonder Ken had been so sure that they wouldn't believe him.

"Wait," Youji said, "let me get this straight. He turned you into a girl because he misunderstood your wish? What did you wish for?"

Ken's face abruptly went very red, and he started shuffling his feet again. "That's not important. He didn't grant it." Here he cast a brief sideways glance at Aya, but averted his eyes before Aya had time to wonder what the look was about. "I think he did this deliberately to screw with me."

"But you said he misinterpreted something. That implies you gave him something to misinterpret," Youji pointed out. "So what did you wish for?"

To everyone's surprise, Ken seemed to explode at the question. "I told you, it's not important!" he yelled. "It doesn't matter, so just stop asking already!" Ken shot another quick glance at Aya, and his cheeks once again went rather red, but he still glared malevolently at Youji.

Aya decided that it was high time he intervened. "Ken's right, it's not important right now," he said, shooting Youji a look that commanded him to keep his mouth shut. "What matters now is reversing the change. Ken, can you find the exact spot in the forest where you encountered this man?"

Ken looked a little surprised by the question. "Well, yeah, I guess so," was the reluctant answer, "but he's long gone by now..."

Ken's reply was abruptly cut off as Aya seized his arm and started towing him back in the direction he'd come from. "Good. We'll simply have to find him again and make him undo whatever he did."

"Um, Aya-kun," Omi said hesitantly as he and Youji trailed along behind them, "I don't think it'll be that simple..."

"We won't know until we try," Aya said, his pace not abating any. They had to try. There was no way he could let Ken stay a girl indefinitely. Even if he knew intellectually that it was Ken, girls of that age tended to remind him of his sister, and that was the last context he wanted to see Ken in. Seeing Ken as being like Aya-chan would make some of the thoughts he had about his teammate wrong on so many levels...

'Things will be put back to normal,' he told himself, still dragging the surprised and (as much as he hated to remind himself) now female Ken behind him. 'They have to go back to normal.'

Tbc...

Author's Notes: Of course, Omi's right. It couldn't be that simple...

Just a little note on gender pronouns, since the little buggers are really starting to annoy me. So far, I've been referring to Ken as "he" because I doubt any of them can really think of him as a girl so soon after the change. When writing from Ken's perspective, I will probably always use "he," since I don't think Ken would ever really start to think of himself as female. What gender pronoun the others use may change as the story goes along. It's annoying, I know, but it's the only thing I can do short of using the transgender pronouns of "ze" and "hir" which I don't especially want to do.

Another thing: I've been hearing rumors that this site will take down stories in which the authors include personalized notes to the reviewers. They probably consider it "Chat/script format" or something like that. If that's the case, I think it's stupid, but at the same time, I'm not willing to risk getting my story pulled. So let me just extend a large, general thank you to everyone who commented on the first chapter.


	3. Now What?

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that I don't own the series, and if someone really wants to sue me, they'll do so regardless of what I write here, so why bother?

Warnings: Shounen ai, weirdness

Author's Notes: Well, my beginning of the quarter productivity seems to have faded somewhat, so updates will probably be slower from here on out. This chapter was actually written a while ago, and I'm editing and posting it now as much to relieve boredom as anything else. Otherwise I'd have to spend the whole of my birthday studying and doing homework.

A Subterfuge of Sorts

By Rapunzel

Chapter 3: Now What?

Of course Omi was right, Aya reflected ruefully. Nothing could ever be that simple.

"I'm sorry, guys," Omi said apologetically. "But there's just no way. You can look for yourselves."

Aya snatched the binoculars out of Omi's hands and surveyed the edge of the forest through the lenses. Upon seeing the large number of men wandering the area, both police and private guards, he let out a curse. "You're right," he agreed grudgingly. "There's just too many of them to risk it."

"So you mean..." Ken said, looking like he was about to despair. "You mean we can't go back into the forest and get this fixed?"

"Not now, I'm afraid," Omi told him apologetically. "It's too dangerous. Unless you can find your way to the spot from another starting point, and even that might be dangerous. They might have decided to search the woods thoroughly too."

"Lingering around the area in general is dangerous right now," Youji said. "I say we leave immediately to avoid getting caught."

Aya gritted his teeth, but finally acknowledged, "You're right. We should go."

"But... But..." Ken stared at him pleadingly.

Aya winced. Dear God, not the puppy eyes, anything but that. Those eyes had a nasty way of making him back down. It was fortunate for him that Ken rarely employed them on him. It made Aya wonder if Ken even realized the power those eyes had.

Still, in this situation, Aya could not afford to give in. He too did not want to leave the place and accept the changes as being permanent, or at least long lasting. In fact, he wanted Ken to go back to normal almost as much as Ken did. But he could not risk the team's safety over something like this. That included Ken's safety, and Aya reminded himself of that as he faced those compelling eyes and said, "Youji's right. We have to leave. We can come back later when things have quieted down."

Ken gave him such a look of hurt disappointment that Aya almost took back his words. But then Ken turned his eyes away, finally releasing Aya from their hold by looking at the ground. He knew that as field leader, Aya's word was the final say and there was no use protesting, and so he began to slowly shuffle his way back towards the rendezvous point, beyond which the van they had used for transportation was concealed.

As the other two turned to follow Ken, Aya paused, sending one last malevolent glare at the edge of the forest where all of the trouble had started. This wasn't over yet by a long shot. One way or another, he would see that Ken was returned to his proper body, no matter how long it took. They would be back to this place, it was simply a matter of when.

/-/-/-/

Ken sighed heavily as he stared out the window at the passing scenery. It was a pretty drive, but his gloomy attitude wouldn't let him enjoy it. Conversation likewise held no appeal, but there wasn't much of that anyway, since talking would almost certainly involve mentioning his sudden transformation and no one seemed too keen on thinking about that. Except Ken, of course, who had been brooding on it almost constantly since it had occurred.

Now he sat and brooded some more for lack of anything better to do. He couldn't even fall back on one of his favorite pastimes: Aya watching. Aya was in the front driving, and Youji had claimed the front seat by virtue of having the longest legs. So Ken was stuck behind Aya with the seat blocking most of his view. At least he had lots of room, as the van was spacious with only the four of them and their gear in it. Ken was glad for that at least; he would have hated to sit in cramped quarters given the sudden size increase of his hips.

Watching Aya was no good anyway, Ken reflected sourly. Since their failure at the forest's edge, Aya had been studiously ignoring him and had hardly said two words to anyone. Ken supposed that he was disconcerted by the whole transformation, but that thought only made him more irritated with the redhead. Surely Aya had to realize that he wasn't the **only** one who was disconcerted with the whole thing. And really, Ken had a greater right to be disconcerted than Aya did; the change had happened to him after all!

Aya's whole general attitude had succeeded in making Ken more depressed than angry, however. If Aya was ignoring him, it meant that the little man had completely failed to fulfill his wish. On the one hand, Ken supposed he should be glad that Aya didn't notice him more as a female, since he wouldn't have known quite what to do about that. Ken rather liked being male, thank you very much, and he had no intention of staying a girl long term, not even to gain Aya's approval. On the other hand, Aya's dismissal of him meant that Ken had been turned into a girl for nothing. Maybe the little man had completely misunderstood him, although Ken was pretty sure he had made himself perfectly clear about getting Aya to notice him. Or maybe it was just a hopeless cause.

Ken slumped against the side of the van, ignoring the odd noise made by his cheek as it slid down the cool glass of the window and Omi's resulting concerned look. He felt depressed beyond words. Aya's attention might at least have made his situation more bearable. Now all he had to look forward to was an indefinite period of time spent in a foreign body while his crush completely ignored him.

"What fun," Ken muttered sarcastically to himself.

/-/-/-/

It was late evening before they got back. Once they had finally reached the Koneko no Sumu Ie and were safely ensconced in the mission room, Omi brought up a very important point. "What are we going to tell Kritiker?"

The other three looked at each other nervously. None of them had quite gotten that far yet, but now that Omi mentioned it, they realized that something would have to be done about it. But how to explain to Kritiker that one of their agents had suddenly undergone a magical and hopefully temporary sex change... There was no way Persia was going to buy this. They themselves would have had trouble believing it if they hadn't seen the results first hand.

"Do we have to tell them?" Ken asked, hints of both whining and pleading infusing his new, higher voice.

"What do you think they would do about it if we did tell them?" Youji asked. "Personally, as much as I dislike the idea of women being involved in the kind of dirty work we do-"

"I'm not a woman," Ken protested, giving Youji a malevolent glare at being lumped into that category.

"Anyway," Youji said, ignoring the interruption, "as I was saying, I see no reason why Ken shouldn't be allowed to participate in missions. I mean, he, or she, rather, has still got the training and the reflexes, and, if the punch earlier was any indication, the strength."

"Thanks," Ken muttered grudgingly.

"Well," Omi said, chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully, "I suppose we can recommend to Kritiker that they allow Ken to remain an active part of Weiss until we get this whole thing sorted out. And since this is hopefully temporary, they'd have no reason to remove him long term anyway. Still, I don't know how we're going to explain all of this. You have to admit, it sounds pretty ludicrous."

"Do we have to tell them?" Ken asked again. "I mean, if I'm still fit to do missions, and I am, what does it matter to them anyway? They wouldn't kick me off the team just because I'm in a girl's body for a little while."

"If they did, you could get on their case for sexual discrimination," Youji commented, sounding amused by the prospect.

"I'm afraid we will have to let them know though, Ken-kun," Omi told his friend apologetically. "They're bound to notice even if we don't say anything, and then we'd be in trouble for not informing them."

"Why would they have to know?" Ken asked hopelessly.

"Oh, come on," Youji said. "You think the next time Manx comes to brief us for a mission, she's not going to notice your sudden presence of cleavage, however small?"

"Maybe Manx won't give us a mission for a while," Ken said hopefully.

Youji just snorted. "What are the odds of that happening?"

Even Ken had to gloomily admit that the odds weren't that good.

"Aya-kun, what do you think?" Omi asked, making an attempt to include their fourth teammate, who had been silent thus far.

Ken waited anxiously as Aya considered for a moment. "I think that Kritiker must be informed, but Ken should remain an active part of the team. If there's a problem, I'll speak to Manx, and even Persia if necessary."

Ken brightened. "You'd do that for me?"

Aya shrugged, refusing to meet Ken's eyes, and Ken's smile fell.

"Well, then it's decided," Omi said. "I'll give Manx a report on Ken's condition along with our assessment and suggest that he be allowed to remain on the team."

"Is that all?" Aya asked flatly.

"Well, yes, I think so," Omi said.

"Good." Aya rose to his feet. "I'm going to bed then, and you should too. We have to be ready to open the shop tomorrow as usual."

"And face the fangirls, who no doubt will be extra enthusiastic to make up for us not being there yesterday or today," Youji remarked.

"Oh no," Ken moaned. "The shop! How'm I gonna to face all those girls?"

"Look on the bright side, Ken-kun," Omi said, trying to cheer his friend up. "They might leave you alone since you're one of them now."

Ken scowled at being compared to the immature high school girls that frequented the shop. "That's not very helpful," he grumbled.

"Er... your apron is pretty loose," Omi said, trying a different tack. "Maybe they won't notice."

"Don't be silly, Omi," Youji said. "They'll notice the minute he opens his mouth."

"That's true," Ken said, sounding discouraged. "I sound nothing like myself. Maybe if I didn't have to work tomorrow..." He trailed off, shooting a hopeful look at Aya.

Aya, however, gave him a stern look in return. "You're on shift along with the rest of us," he said. "If you're so concerned, just don't talk." With that, he turned and stalked up the stairs, leaving Ken behind him lamenting his fate.

Youji gave his comrade a sympathetic look. "Gotta just suck it up and deal I guess, huh Ken?"

"I'm doomed," Ken moaned.

Tbc...

Author's Notes: I don't think anyone thought I'd let Ken off easy by having him changed back in this chapter. Where would the fun in that be? I still have to give Ken lots of time to get used to his new body.


	4. Who's Midori chan?

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that I don't own the series, and if someone really wants to sue me, they'll do so regardless of what I write here, so why bother?

Warnings: Shounen ai, weirdness

Author's Notes: A lull in the quarter (which, believe me, is a very rare thing) has prompted the return of the muse. I wanted to work on "Solstice" some more, since my goal was to finish it before the end of January (that's not going to happen, but it was a nice thought). However, the muse decided she'd rather work on this one instead.

A Subterfuge of Sorts

By Rapunzel

Chapter 4: Who's Midori-chan?

The next morning, Ken dug around in his dresser, trying to find loose clothes. He was hoping that they would hide his figure from the fangirls in the shop. After some consideration, he had decided that Aya's suggestion about not talking, while meanly put, was probably the only way to go if he didn't want the girls to notice his sex change. Hopefully if he dressed correctly and stayed in the back or worked on special orders so he wouldn't interact with them directly, he could get away with it. Granted it was not a solution that would work long term, but then Ken kept on telling himself that his new "condition" was purely temporary. He had to believe that, or he would totally lose it.

Omi and Aya were already down in the shop getting ready to open when he arrived. Ken took his apron off its hook and tied it on as loosely as possible. The last thing he needed was to emphasize his narrower waist. Before either of the other two could assign him a task that would put him out in the front part of the shop, he grabbed the stack of backlogged orders and resolutely sat himself down behind the counter to work on them. Aya noticed and quirked an eyebrow at this odd behavior, but said nothing.

All too soon for Ken's liking, the shop opened and dozens of girls poured in for the pre-school rush. Ken held his ground and tried to ignore them all, letting Aya and Omi deal with noisy teenagers while he arranged flowers and wrapped bouquets. He felt a little badly for marooning the two of them in the sea of fangirls, especially since Youji hadn't shown up for his shift yet and they could have used the help. However, guilt took a back seat to the need to preserve his secret, and he stayed where he was.

Finally there came a brief lull, during which Aya stalked off with an almost inarticulate growl about finding Youji and kicking his lazy ass. He went to fetch their errant coworker, and poor Omi was left to handle the few remaining customers alone. Fortunately, for reasons known only to themselves, most of the fangirls had dispersed by then, despite the fact that they still had a little time left before school started. Omi was helpfully pointing out flowers to the few remaining girls when Ken's fears came true.

"Ken-san's being awfully quiet today," one of the girls remarked to Omi. "Is he feeling well?"

"Er... no, he's not. He's sick," Omi said hastily.

'Tell them I've lost my voice so I won't have to talk to them,' Ken silently willed. However, as he was not a telepath, his wish went unnoticed by Omi.

Another girl paused to survey Ken, and then said in surprise, "That's not Ken-san."

Ken cursed luridly under his breath.

"Don't be silly," the first girl said, laughing a little. "Of course it is."

"No it's not," the second insisted. "It's a girl. Look."

'Shit!' Ken thought. What had given him away? He hadn't spoken, so it couldn't have been his voice. The hips, he finally concluded, it had to be the hips.

"You're right!" the first girl said, her voice tinged with surprise. "Ne, Omi-kun, who is that girl? She looks just like Ken-san."

"Uh... that's because she's... uh... his sister! Yes, that's Ken-kun's twin sister," Omi explained, trying to sound convincing.

"Eh? I didn't know Ken-san had a twin sister."

'That's because I don't!' Ken thought furiously. Oh, Omi was going to be in so much trouble for this. Why oh why couldn't he have just skipped work today?

"Oh, well, she doesn't live around here," Omi said, sounding more sure of himself. "But she came to visit because she heard that Ken-kun was sick, and since he can't work in the shop just now, she agreed to take over his shifts for him to help us out. It was very nice of her, really."

Another girl who had just joined the conversation let out a forlorn wail. "Ken-san's sick? Is it very bad? It must be bad if his sister came from far away because of it. Omi-kun, is he going to be okay?"

"Oh, don't worry," Omi said sounding very reassuring. "He'll be all right, he just needs to rest and take some time off for a while."

'I need to get away from you guys,' Ken thought irritably. While he was a little touched that they were worried for him, he was even more annoyed. Now he was supposed to be his own twin sister? What the hell was Omi thinking? There was no way anyone was going to buy this one.

"Hey, why is she wearing Ken-san's clothes?" one girl asked, and Ken suddenly found himself regretting his choice of wardrobe for the morning. Still, it wasn't as if he had anything to wear other than his own clothes.

"Huh? Oh, yes! Well, you see, when we called her to tell her about her brother, I think we made it sound worse than it was. She ended up leaving in such a hurry that she forgot to pack any luggage. So now she has to wear her brother's clothes until she can get some new ones."

"She'll probably want to get some soon," a girl remarked. "Those ones are way too big on her."

"We should take her shopping with us!" another girl suggested, and murmurs of enthusiastic assent were given in response.

'No, no, no, no, no!' Ken chanted silently in his head. There was no way he wanted to go clothes shopping with that bunch. Who knew what torments and humiliations they would subject him to? They would make him put on all sorts of cute and girly things to the utter ruin of his masculinity. Well, whatever was left of it.

Fortunately, it seemed that even Omi had an ounce of sympathy left for his plight. "Actually, I think she had plans to go shopping out on her own later, but I'm sure she appreciates the thought."

"What's her name?"

"Her name?" Omi repeated, seeming to draw a blank for a moment. Ken listened attentively while trying to appear not to be doing so, as Omi finally gather his wits together and said, "Her name is Midori."

'Midori?' Ken thought sourly. 'Where the hell did he get that one from?'

However, once the name was said, he couldn't very well contradict it, and so he had to smile politely when one of the girls drifted over to say hello to "Midori-chan, the new arrival." He even had to grit his teeth and try to make small talk with her so as not to be rude. He had never been more relieved in his life to see them finally filter out and get ready to head off to school.

"Midori-chan really does look a lot like Ken-san," one of them remarked as they were leaving.

"It must be because they're twins," another said. "They don't sound at all alike though."

Then the door closed behind them, and Ken turned menacingly on Omi. "So, I'm Midori-chan now, am I?" he asked dangerously.

"Er... Ken-kun, please don't be mad. I had to tell them something once they noticed, and it was the most plausible thing I could think of. I'm sorry if you don't like the name."

"I don't like the name, and I don't like the whole idea!" Ken yelled. "They all think I'm a girl now!"

"But Ken-kun," Omi pointed out a little timidly. "You are a girl now."

The inarticulate growl of rage Ken let out sent Omi hurrying from the shop, muttering something about being late for school. Ken kicked the table violently as the door shut behind him.

"Don't damage the furniture."

Ken jumped, having not heard Aya come back into the shop. Yet when he turned, the redhead was standing behind him, giving him a mildly inquiring look.

Ken didn't hesitate to spill his story. "Do you know what Omi told the girls in the shop? He told them that I'm my own twin sister visiting my brother because he's sick, and that my name is Midori!"

"Did they believe it?" Aya asked.

"Yes," Ken said bitterly. "They even bought the part about me forgetting my luggage in my hurry to get here and having to wear my brother's clothes. They wanted to take me clothes shopping! Clothes shopping!"

"That's good," Aya said simply. "It'll save us the trouble of having to come up with another cover story."

Ken stared at him in astonishment before repeating, "Good? Good? You call this good? You're not the one who almost got asked to go try on skirts with that pack of harpies!"

"Ken," Aya said coldly, "shut up. You're being irrational. We'd have had to tell them something, and this works as well as anything else. Would you rather try telling them the truth and seeing how they react to that?"

"But they think I'm a girl now!" Ken wailed.

Aya just looked at him with one eyebrow raised, as if telling Ken that he was indeed a girl now, as Omi had done, would be stating a fact too obvious to mention.

The door to the back of the shop opened then, and Youji came stumbling in, looking less than awake. "What's all the fuss about?" he asked grumpily. "And what the hell am I doing out of bed this early? You're a freaking slave driver, you know that, Aya?"

"If the rest of us have to work this early, so do you," Ken snapped, having absolutely no sympathy left for his coworker.

"Well, someone's in a bad mood this morning," Youji remarked, eyeing Ken. "What's a matter, Kenken, get up on the wrong side of bed?"

"It's Midori now," Aya corrected him.

Youji raised his eyebrows, and Ken turned on Aya and snapped, "Oh, not you too!"

"If we don't want them to find out, we have to stick to the story," Aya said firmly. "From now on, whenever you are working in the shop, we shall address you as Midori."

"No fucking way!" Ken yelled. "I do not want to be called Midori!"

"Why not?" Youji asked. "Midori's a nice name. I think I've dated at least one girl by that name."

"I hate you all!" Ken cried vehemently.

"You're being irrational," Aya said, sounding as though he were getting ready to lose his temper. "Now shut up, calm down, and get back to work!"

When faced with Aya's glare and angry tones, Ken found that he had little choice but to shut his mouth and go back to his seat to work on the orders.

"And don't forget we have to do the deliveries later, Midori-chan," Youji called after him.

Ken squeezed the tulip in his hand until it became an unrecognizable pulpy mass, but said nothing.

/-/-/-/

Fortunately for Ken, the day went by fairly uneventfully, and there weren't many customers, which meant that he didn't have to get referred to as Midori-chan too often. Well, at least not by Aya, who recognized Ken's disapproval of the name and the concept that went with it. Youji, however, seemed to be having quite a lot of fun tormenting his teammate by calling him Midori-chan as often as he could. It got to the point where Ken seemed to be putting most of his concentration into not killing Youji, and consequently got very little work done. Aya wondered if he should intervene, but decided that it would be difficult to do so, since he was the one who had come up with the rule of calling Ken by that name in the shop.

Aya wasn't quite sure what to do about Ken's angry outbursts. He realized that Ken's hatred of the name stemmed more from his hatred of the condition it represented, and not because he necessarily thought Midori was a bad name. However, the condition was harder to alter, and Aya reminded Ken that he had no choice but to put up with it until they could get back and fix things. Ken simply growled at him incoherently, and Aya decided that maybe the best option was simply to sit back and let him cool down a little.

It seemed that Ken was not allowed to be left in peace, however, for shortly after they reopened after lunch, an unexpected visitor arrived.

"Manx," Ken said, looking up from his work in surprise at the newly arrived redhead.

"Hello, boys," Manx said, her heels clicking on the hard floor as she walked into the shop. "Or, should I say, boys and girl."

Ken scowled at her.

"Hello, gorgeous," Youji greeted her cheerfully. "Come to pay me a visit? I knew you couldn't stay away for long."

Manx simply ignored him as she always did. She seemed more intent on Ken at that moment anyway.

"Is there a mission?" Aya asked her, quick to get to the point. He noticed that Ken was squirming a bit under her scrutiny.

"Hm? A mission? Oh no," Manx said. "It's nothing of that sort. It's just that we read Bombay's report last night and some of the things in it were... intriguing, to say the least. Persia had a bit of a hard time believing it, and so he sent me to check and make sure. Not that we think Bombay would ever give us false information," she added, "but we thought you boys might be playing a bit of a trick on him."

"I wish it was a trick," Ken muttered gloomily. "But no. So now you've seen, and if you don't have a mission to give us, you can go now and tell Persia that we aren't pulling his leg."

Manx, however, refuse to be dismissed so easily. "Actually, that's only part of the reason I'm here. You see, Bombay contacted me on his way to school this morning and suggested that you might be in need of my help."

"Your help?" Ken repeated, confused.

"Yes. He mentioned something about clothes shopping."

Aya waited for the explosion and was not disappointed. Ken shot up from his chair as though someone had put pins on the seat and yelped, "Clothes shopping?"

"That's right," Manx said, completely unperturbed by his reaction. "Now that you're pretending to be a female, you'll need a new wardrobe to go with the persona."

Ken seemed to calm down a little, probably mollified by her use of the word pretending. Still, he demanded, "But why should you bother with that?"

"Well," Manx said reasonably, "do you know of any other women who can offer you their advice on the subject? I refuse to send you out alone; you'd simply come back with more clothes like the ones you have now. I think that I'm the best person to supervise this trip, don't you agree? Of course, I suppose the alternative would be letting Youji do it, since he is probably the most fashion savvy of the four of you."

Ken cast a glance at Youji, who winked back at him. Gulping, he turned back to Manx and said, "No, that's okay. I'll go with you. I wouldn't want to end up dressed like a party girl or a slut."

"Hey," Youji said, mildly irritated by the comment. "Have a little faith in me, would you? Besides, I don't know why you think Manx is going to be any better; just look at how short her skirt is."

Manx ignored him. "So it's settled then," she said. "In that case, why don't we go now?"

"Now?" Ken repeated.

"Well, yes," Manx said. "I can't spend too long on this. I do have work I need to get done, after all. So anytime you're ready..."

Ken obviously wasn't ready. He looked as though he'd just been sentenced to death. Quickly, he turned to Aya and said, "Aya? Come with me, please?"

"Me?" Aya frowned at him in surprise. Why on earth would Ken want him to accompany them?

"Please?" Ken begged. "I can't stand up to her alone, and she'll put me in skirts, I know she will. Please?"

Aya knew he should say no. There was no particular reason why he should need to accompany them. He hadn't helped purchase women's clothing since Aya-chan had been put into a coma, and he'd known little enough on the subject then. It made no sense for Ken to ask him, and yet he looked so desperate. He was gazing up at Aya imploringly and seemed to be genuinely worried about what would happen if he were left alone with Manx.

He was using the puppy eyes.

Damn.

"Manx," Aya said, "wait until Omi gets back from school, and I'll go with you."

Manx frowned at him. "That won't be necessary."

"I think it is," Aya said.

"Oh? Why?"

Aya just stared at her and didn't answer. Truth be told, his reasoning didn't extend much beyond, "Because Ken wants me to."

Finally, Manx backed down. "I suppose I can wait that long. But don't think you're going to get out of this," she said, fixing Ken with a stern look.

Ken just gave her a wide eyed look and shook his head.

"Well, I suppose it's not that much trouble then. And after all, it might be useful to have a man there to carry things," Manx mused.

Aya felt like groaning aloud. What the hell had he just agreed to?

Tbc...

Author's Notes: So now I get to torture Ken **and** Aya. But I guess that was kind of a prerequisite for the whole fic.


	5. No Pink

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that I don't own the series, and if someone really wants to sue me, they'll do so regardless of what I write here, so why bother?

Warnings: Shounen ai, weirdness

A Subterfuge of Sorts

By Rapunzel

Chapter 5: No Pink

Aya could feel a headache coming on. Accompanying Ken and Manx, he decided, had been one of the worst ideas he'd had all day. They had barely arrived, and already Ken and Manx were butting heads over the choices of clothing.

"You can't be serious!" Ken snapped as Manx held up a pink shirt with ruffles around the sleeves. "I am **not** wearing pink. That's final."

Fortunately, Manx just shrugged, willing to let that one go. "I wouldn't have thought of it as your color anyway. It was just an idea." She put the shirt back and moved over to the next rack.

"Now do you see why I brought you along?" Ken hissed to Aya, eyeing Manx as she thumbed through the available choices, checking sizes and prices.

"No," Aya said, wishing fervently that his resolve had been a little stronger and he had refused. Listening to these two argue was not his idea of a pleasant way to spend the afternoon. "You seem to be doing just fine on your own."

"For now," Ken said. "She'll wear me down though. I'm sure she's just waiting until I'm too tired to argue anymore."

"You make it sound as though she's trying to kill you," Aya said.

"I think she is," Ken said. "She's trying to make me die of embarrassment." Brown eyes flicked over to Manx suspiciously and then widened when Ken saw what she looking at.

"If you put me in a skirt," Ken told Manx through gritted teeth, "I swear to God I'll kill you and find some way to make it look like an accident."

Manx looked at him and raised her eyebrows slightly, but she quietly put the skirt she had been looking at back on the rack. It had probably occurred to her that, as an assassin, Ken's threat might not be an idle one.

"No skirts and no pink," she said. "What will you wear then?"

"What's wrong with jeans and the shirts I normally wear?" Ken asked plaintively.

"No girl with an ounce of pride would be caught dead in them, that's what," Manx said. "I'm willing to give you a little leeway when it comes to the clothing, but I told you, the whole reason I came with you was to make sure that you **didn't** pick out more clothes like the ones you already have."

Ken scowled and glared furiously at the skirts Manx had been examining a moment earlier.

Aya realized that if he didn't want this to go on forever, he had better step in and play moderator. "Look, some girls do wear pants, right? There must be some slacks for women or some such thing that you would approve and Ken would be willing to wear."

"I suppose," Manx said. "Although most girls would simply pick the skirts." She shot a pointed look at Ken.

Ken glared back. "I'm not a girl."

The look Manx gave Ken seemed to say, "Oh, really?" However, she decided not to comment verbally, instead turning and heading off to look for a suitable pair of pants.

One hurdle had been cleared, but it seemed that there were many more to come. Once they did find dress pants that Ken grudgingly admitted weren't too bad, they discovered that they had no idea what size he wore in his new form. Manx dealt with that by grabbing a variety of sizes and telling Ken that he would simply have to try them all on to see what fit. But before they did that, she decided to grab some shirts for Ken to try on at the same time. An argument once more ensued with Ken vehemently protesting everything Manx selected.

Aya finally got sick of the whole thing and grabbed an armful of the least girly looking shirts he could find. "Here," he said, thrusting them at Ken. "Go change." He stalked off towards the changing stalls, not looking back to see if the other two were following him.

Ken and Manx both stared after him for a moment. Then Ken shrugged and trotted along after him.

Once Ken was safely ensconced in one of the changing areas, Aya turned and glared at Manx. "Are you deliberately bating him?" he asked.

Manx gave him an inscrutable look. "Now why on earth would I want to do that?"

"I don't know," Aya snapped, "but you certainly seem to be doing a good job of it. You should have known from the beginning that he wouldn't willingly wear skirts, or half the other things you tried to pick out."

Manx sighed. "I had to try," she said. "After all, if he's going to be a girl for the near future, he might as well try to be a believable one."

Aya was about to answer that when he heard Ken call him. "Hey, Aya, could you c'mere for a moment? I can't tell if these are supposed to fit like this or not."

Aya sighed and headed over to the curtained area where Ken was. However, when he caught sight of his teammate standing there with the curtain drawn back to reveal the little stall and mirror behind him, Aya leapt back as though burned and resisted the urge to clap a hand over his eyes.

Ken wasn't wearing a shirt.

"God damn it, Ken!" Aya hissed, feeling himself go very red in the face.

"What?" Ken asked, completely oblivious to the fact that he was flashing everyone in the immediate vicinity.

"I think," Manx said dryly from behind him, "that you should consider putting a shirt on before you appear like that."

Ken glanced down and suddenly seemed to realize that while he might have been able to get away with taking off his shirt in public before, he certainly couldn't do it now. A crimson blush spread up his face, and he ducked back inside the changing area and yanked the curtain shut behind him with excessive force.

Aya breathed a silent sight of relief once Ken was out of sight. He shouldn't have looked, he knew that. He should have simply turned his back like a gentleman. But it was like trying not to stare at a train wreck. Ken's "condition" was all the more obvious without the barrier of clothing, and it upset Aya no end to have the proof shoved in his face like that. It didn't help that a small voice in the back of his head was pointing out that he would have welcomed the removal of Ken's shirt before the change, and it mourned the view he could have had.

Aya shook his head violently to clear those thoughts. There was no point in dwelling on that until things went back to normal.

Manx moved up to stand next to him, shaking her head in exasperation. "That boy..." she murmured, sounding annoyed and resigned. "He just doesn't think sometimes."

"He's not used to the changes yet," Aya muttered, trying to defend Ken. 'I hope he doesn't ever have a chance to get used to them,' he added silently.

"That reminds me, though," Manx said, looking thoughtful. "We should get him bras as well."

Aya wasn't sure how much of their conversation Ken had caught, but evidently he had at least been able to pick up the word "bra." His head popped out from behind the curtain and he fixed Manx with a murderous glare. "What?" he said as if daring her to repeat the statement.

Evidently, Manx was up for the challenge. "I was just thinking that now that you have the necessary equipment, so to speak, you should get some bras to support it."

"No." The refusal was flat and firm.

"You'll need them," Manx said.

"The pants and the shirts aren't bad enough?" Ken demanded. "You have to put me in women's underwear now too?"

"That reminds me," Manx said thoughtfully. "I wonder if we could find some panties that would fit you."

The look Ken was giving her was positively murderous.

Not wanting another argument to start (and feeling that he couldn't decently leave Ken to quite that level of humiliation), Aya said, "Manx, that's going overboard. No one is going to see his underwear."

Ken shot him a grateful look.

"I suppose," Manx said, and Aya could have sworn she looked almost disappointed. "Still, Ken will need bras."

"I will not," Ken snapped. "Like Aya said, who's gonna see them?"

Manx frowned at him. "But it will still be obvious if you aren't wearing one. Besides, after your previous little display, I think we should make you wear them just in case you decide to take your shirt off again."

"I don't need them," Ken insisted. "No one will know. Youji says I'm tiny anyway."

"And you said that they hurt when you run," Aya reminded him.

"Well that settles it then," Manx said. "You'll need something to stop you from bouncing at any rate. I'll be back in a moment."

She sauntered off and Ken turned his furious gaze on Aya. "Just whose side are you on?" he demanded.

"My own," Aya shot back, having had more than enough of the whole thing about a half an hour ago.

"I don't know why I brought you along," Ken muttered angrily as he retreated behind the curtain again.

"Well, next time you'll know better," Aya said.

Ken snorted. "There's not going to be a next time if I have any say in it."

But of course he wouldn't, Aya reflected. He hadn't had much of a say in it this time.

Manx reappeared carrying several bras. Aya noted with some relief that most of them were fairly plain and none of them sported any lace. He was beginning to think that Ken might be reaching the end of his rope as far as this shopping trip was concerned.

"I wasn't sure what size you wore," Manx said, "so I grabbed a variety. Try them on, and once we find the one that fits, we can go back and get others in that size."

Ken reached one arm out and snatched the hated articles of clothing away from her. After a few minutes, his hand reappeared, holding one. "This one fits," he said sounding sullen.

"Excellent," Manx said. "I'll just go and grab some more for you then."

Ken muttered something that was probably profanity but didn't fight.

Manx disappeared again, and by the time she returned they had managed to figure out the rest of Ken's sizes. She seemed pleased with the knowledge and even consented to letting Ken come out of the changing area, having put back on the clothes he had worn there.

"Splendid," Manx said. "Now we just need to grab some appropriate clothes in those sizes, and then we can go look at make-up."

Ken balked. "Make-up?"

"Of course," Manx said, as though make-up had always been a given in this equation.

"I don't want to wear make-up!" Ken protested.

Manx frowned at him. "If you want to make a convincing girl..."

Ken looked like he was torn between strangling her and breaking down and crying. Aya could tell that he was getting tired of fighting Manx's every decision, and when those brown eyes turned to him in desperation, he found he couldn't refuse them.

"Manx," he said, "consider the personality Ken's going to be portraying."

"And what is that?" Manx asked.

"Well," Aya said, trying to put together a logical argument on the spur of the moment, "Ken's going to act like himself for the most part, despite the new body, right? So he'll already have the reputation of a tomboy. If nothing else, the clothes he was wearing today should prove that. You said yourself that most girls wouldn't be caught wearing them. Well, if he's going to portray a tomboy, then he won't need make-up, right?"

Ken seemed to hold his breath as Manx considered it. "I suppose you're right," she finally admitted. "And after all," she added, studying Ken, "your complexion is clear enough that you can probably get away without it."

Ken heaved a sigh of relief. "So no make-up," he said, shooting Aya a very grateful look. "That means we're done, right?"

"Done?" Manx looked surprised. "Oh, don't be ridiculous. We haven't looked at shoes yet."

"Shoes?" Ken whimpered.

'Please,' Aya wished, calling on whatever deity might be listening. 'Please let this be over soon.'

Judging by the gleam in Manx's eyes, however, he had a feeling he wasn't going to get his wish anytime soon.

/-/-/-/

"So how did the shopping trip go?" Youji asked, eyeing Aya and Ken with evident amusement as they came in carrying boxes and various bags of clothing.

"If she ever tries to do that again, will one of you do me a favor and just shoot me?" Ken asked, throwing his armload of clothing down on the counter in disgust.

Manx trailed in after them, ignoring Ken's remark. "I'd say it was a great success. However, I leave it to you gentlemen to make sure that Ken actually wears the things we got him."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Youji said, smirking at the prospect. "In fact, Midori-chan, what do you say to modeling some of your new clothes for me later?" He winked suggestively at Ken.

"Go to hell," Ken said.

"Kudou, leave him alone," Aya commanded.

Youji sighed dramatically. "You people have no sense of humor."

Aya resisted the urge to tell him that if he had just come back from a three hour shopping trip with Manx and Ken, he wouldn't have had much of a sense of humor either.

"Well, I'll leave you boys to it then," Manx said, waving as she left the shop. "I've got work to do, after all. It's been fun."

Ken scowled at her retreating back. "I've half a mind to take my bugnuks and shred the bras," he muttered.

"Don't do that," Aya said. "We did pay for them after all. It would be a waste of money."

Ken made a face. "Everything comes down to money with you, doesn't it? Cheapskate."

"I prefer the term thrifty," Aya said.

"Whatever," Ken muttered. He eyed the new clothes with distaste, and then looked back at Aya. "I really need to thank you for coming along," he said seriously. "I'd have been done for if I'd had to stand up to her alone."

"Hn," was all Aya had to say to that. He wasn't sure he was glad he had gone along. On the one hand, he had probably rescued Ken from a horrible or at least very humiliating fate. On the other hand, he certainly hadn't enjoyed the trip, and the memory of Ken flashing him and the horror that went with that was not something he was going to be able to cleanse from his mind anytime soon. Not without a lot of time and some pretty extensive therapy, anyway.

"Was it really that bad?" Omi asked.

"It was awful," Ken said. "She was gonna make me get make-up too, but Aya talked her out of it. But then we had to get shoes, and you wouldn't believe how uncomfortable some of those things are..."

As Ken went on to describe the torments he had been subjected to, Aya quietly slipped out the back of the shop. He needed some time alone to recover.

Tbc...

Author's Note: Updates in general are likely to start coming more slowly now. This is the quarter of the floristics class that will eat my life. It's gotten to the point where if someone says to me, "Blade and claw," I don't know whether to think of the Ran/Ken site or of petal morphology in the Caryophyllaceae.


	6. No, You May Not Date My Brother

Disclaimer: Everyone knows that I don't own the series, and if someone really wants to sue me, they'll do so regardless of what I write here, so why bother?

Warnings: Shounen ai, weirdness

Author's Notes::claws and gropes her way out of a pile of application paperwork:: I live! And I have three out of four applications done! Soon they'll all be finished, and I can go back to writing in my free time.

Chapter 6: No, You May Not Date My Brother

By the morning after the dreaded shopping trip, Ken felt that he had more or less recovered from the ordeal, at least as much as he could recover from such an assault on his masculinity. He even felt sufficiently resigned to wear some of the clothes Manx had bought for him the previous day. Putting on one of the bras was not his favorite experience, but he swallowed his pride and wrestled with the damned thing until he had it properly in place. After all, if Manx was right and other people really could tell if he wasn't wearing one, it would look strange to be without it.

After the underwear issue had been dealt with, he picked out a pair of dark slacks and a rather plain shirt. The way the slacks fit around his recently expanded hips felt odd, and the shirt seemed to cling and accentuate the now female curves of his body. Ken hated it, but there wasn't really much else to be done. Manx had made it clear that he was not to wear his regular clothes while in this new female body, and there was nothing else for him to wear. The previous night, after listening to Ken complain, Omi had graciously offered to let Ken try some of his shirts. Ken had jumped at the idea, until he had actually put one on to discover that not only was it too tight across the chest, but, as an inevitable result of Omi being shorter than him, it exposed quite a bit of his midriff. When Youji had whistled and said he looked sexy in it, it had been the last straw. Ken had nearly ripped the thing in his haste to get it off, and had the shirt been his, he would have burned it.

All in all, the clothing issue left Ken feeling both irritated and resigned, and it was in this mood that he descended the stairs and got ready to open the shop for the morning. The scant grunt of greeting he received from Aya when he reached the shop did little to improve things, and Ken quickly set about moving potted plants out to the front in an effort to ignore the world.

Looking at the clock after he finished setting out the displays, Ken almost winced when he noticed that it was time for the shop to open. Great, another morning of fangirls and being "Midori-chan." Just what he needed.

"Ken," Aya snapped at him, and Ken realized belatedly that the redhead had been trying to get his attention for a few minutes.

"What?" he asked gloomily.

"You weren't listening, were you?"

Ken just rolled his eyes and didn't answer.

"I said, I want you to go in the back room and do an inventory check. I think we might be running low on calla lilies, but I want to make sure."

"Fine," Ken grumbled. A proper inventory check would likely take him most of the morning, and the idea didn't exactly thrill him.

A few minutes later, as Ken stared around the contents of the back room, he couldn't help wondering what Aya was smoking. They had received a shipment just a few days ago, and consequently had plenty of calla lilies, along with just about everything else they needed. Aya couldn't have forgotten that, could he? No, surely not. Not Aya, who never forgot anything.

Ken was about to march back out to the front part of the shop and tell Aya that he was imagining things when the sounds from that part of the building drifted through to him. Female voices. Lots and lots of female voices. The morning schoolgirl rush had officially started. It was then that Ken finally understood. For reasons best known to himself, Aya had decided to take pity on him and remove him from the inquiring clutches of the girls for the morning. With Youji and Omi not on shift until afternoon that day, this left Aya alone to face the crowd.

For a moment, Ken considered leaving his assigned job and going back out to help Aya. Then the memory of the previous morning and the girls offering to take him shopping came back, and he shuddered and retreated. After all, Aya had ordered him to do an inventory check. The least he could do was to make sure he did a thorough and proper job of it.

/-/-/-/

Several hours later, when Ken finally dared to poke his head out of the back room again, all was quiet in the shop. Aya was sitting at the counter trying to prune a miniature rose that seemed to have gotten delusions of grandeur and was trying to overgrow its immediate neighbors. He glanced up briefly when Ken emerged but made no comment.

Since the shop was now blessedly fangirl free, Ken set about his daily tasks with a sense of relief. He knew that the peace would be short lived, and when the afternoon rush came he would be in the same predicament, but he figured he'd deal with that when he got there.

He had forgotten that he had one obstacle other than the fangirls to face: the annoyance known as Kudou Youji. Most of the time, the two of them got on fairly well, but Youji seemed to be treating the whole sex change situation as an excuse to tease and hit on Ken, which Ken did not especially appreciate. He was already sore enough about the whole damn thing without Youji's input. Unfortunately, Youji didn't seem to pick up on that.

"Well, good morning, Midori-chan, you're looking fine today."

Ken ground his teeth and resisted the impulse to simply turn the hose he was holding on his coworker. "Youji," he ground out, "are there any customers in the shop?"

"None that I can see," Youji said.

"Then why are you calling me Midori-chan?"

"Practice," Youji said with what was, to Ken's mind, far too much cheer. "You've got to learn to answer to that name anyway, right Midori-chan?"

Fortunately, before Ken could snap a reply or, better yet, simply kill Youji, Aya seemed to sense that violence might be imminent, and he quickly assigned them to tasks on opposite sides of the shop. With Aya playing moderator between Ken and Youji, the day passed fairly uneventfully until the afternoon rush began.

The moment Ken saw the first of the school girls approach the shop, he knew he was in trouble. This time there would be no hiding behind the counter or in the back room. No, this time he was going to have to stand out in the front and interact and try to figure out just how the hell he was supposed to keep up this charade when he had no clue how girls acted around each other, or how they acted period when they weren't fawning. He didn't exactly have a whole lot of reference points to look at either, since the girl he had spent the most time with had been Yuriko, and she was hardly a normal specimen of her sex.

"Midori-chan!"

Ken winced as one of the girls hailed him, or rather his supposed sister, loudly. Every other girl in the immediate vicinity turned, and a sort of murmuring started. Then, almost before he knew it, he was surrounded, overwhelmed, lost in a sea of teenage girls. They pressed at him from every angle, making him feel almost suffocated, and from each one came a different question.

"Midori-chan, is it true that Ken-san's sick?"

"Are you two really twins? You must be, you look so much alike!"

"I thought only identical twins looked alike..."

"Midori-chan, how long will you be working here?"

"When did you get new clothes? I wanted to go shopping with you."

"Is your brother going to be okay?"

Evidently, word that "Midori" was working her brother's shifts while he was "sick" had gotten out. With a vague sense of annoyance, Ken wondered just how much these girls talked about them outside of the shop, and also what made them think they could address him so familiarly, calling him "Midori-chan" instead of "Midori-san."

"My brother's fine," Ken finally answered when he could get a word in edgewise. "At least, he will be. He just needs a little time to recover. I don't know how long it'll take, so I don't know how long I'll be staying here."

There was a blessed moment of quiet while they digested that, and then one girl broke it by saying, "I made a get-well card for Ken-san. Will you please give it to him?"

And suddenly he was flooded with notes and cards and well wishes from all of them. It would have been mildly flattering if it hadn't been so much that it made his head spin.

"If you're not here to buy something, leave!"

Had Ken been able to reach Aya, he would have kissed him in that moment. The girls, however, who were by this time mostly habituated to Aya and his bad temper, ignored him. They continued to cluster around Ken, assaulting him with their chatter.

"Does your brother like cookies? I was going to make some for him, but I figured they wouldn't be good for a sick person."

"Midori-chan, I could help you make some soup for your brother. Would that make him feel better?"

"What kind of food does he like?"

"What kind of movies does he like?"

"What's his favorite color?"

"Why are you asking me all this?" Ken demanded, trying to figure out how the conversation had suddenly moved from food to movies and favorite colors.

The girls fell silent for a moment, and a few of them even had the decency to blush. One finally blurted, "Well, I mean, you would know, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would know, but why would I tell you?"

A few of them backed away from him, and Ken realized that that last bit had come out sounding a little more rude than he had intended. Still, he couldn't bring himself to be truly sorry, not with the way they were pestering him.

The girls around him were shifting nervously now, exchanging whispers and looks laced with meaning. Finally, one of them said in a rather subdued voice, "We're just trying to figure out what would make your brother happy."

And suddenly it all made sense. These girls weren't hounding him because they had any interest in "Midori-chan." To them, his supposed sister was simply someone to whom they could ingratiate themselves in the hopes that he, Ken, might see them in a more favorable light. After all, by their logic, it probably made sense that he would want a girlfriend that his sister could get along with. There probably wasn't a single girl in the shop who was interested in "Midori" as a person; they all saw her as a source of personal information about him and a means of getting closer to him. The thought was mildly sickening, but at the same time, Ken knew he shouldn't really have expected anything else.

Sighing, Ken tried to think of a way that he could diffuse their interest without coming across as a completely snobbish and over-protective bitch. Coming right out and saying, "My brother has no interest in dating any of you," would probably make him, or rather Midori, extremely unpopular.

"I think," Ken said slowly, "that what would make my brother happy right now would be to be left alone for a little bit. To just, you know, get a little less attention."

For a moment, he worried that that might also have come out sounding too bitchy, but he saw that far from being offended, they appeared to be hanging on his every word. It was a little frightening, actually, and he tried to be careful as he continued, "My brother isn't really thinking about dating any girls right now."

There were collective sounds of disappointment, and a wail of, "But why not?"

Ken opened his mouth and shut it again, unsure of how to answer that one. The little voice in the back of his head which represented the voice of reason was telling him that it would be a very bad idea to reveal his interest in Aya. Given how often bad things happened when he ignored that voice, Ken thought it was probably prudent to listen to it.

"It's that other girl, huh?" one of the fangirls said, and Ken turned to her in surprise.

"Other girl?" he said. What other girl? Surely, if there were another girl, he would know about it.

The fangirl nodded. "I don't know who she is, but I heard there was a girl he was going out with. I think I saw her once, biking with him. But she never seems to come here, so I wasn't sure if they were really together."

Ah. Yuriko. That explained it, although it made Ken wonder how much of his personal life was know to these infatuated teens. It was rather a frightening thought. "Oh, her. She's not around any more."

"What happened?" several members of his audience demanded.

Ken shrugged. "She left for another country, and he couldn't go with her, so that was the end of it."

There was a collective, "Aw..." from the girls, and they all began to chime in with comments.

"That's so sad!"

"Poor Ken-san! He must feel just awful!"

"Maybe that's why he doesn't want to date anyone. He's still getting over her."

"Why would she want to leave him behind like that? Silly girl!"

"She must be awful to just be able to abandon him like that!"

Ken suddenly felt bad and wished fervently that he had simply kept his mouth shut and left Yuriko out of all this. Even if she was on another continent now and would probably never know about the reputation she'd just garnered, she didn't deserve to have all these high school girls thinking evil things about her and slandering her name. Feeling the need to defend her a little, he said, "It wasn't her fault. She asked him to go with her, but he just... couldn't."

There was another round of sympathetic noises from the girls as they all murmured over how sad it was, and how poor Ken-san must have been heartbroken. Ken didn't bother to correct them this time, and was hoping that he had escaped any more inquiries into his non-existent love life when he was abruptly rescued by Aya, who, glaring at the girls, informed them that they were hindering Midori-chan's ability to perform her work. They finally dispersed, still talking amongst themselves, and Ken turned to thank Aya only to see that Aya was fixing him with a rather odd look.

"What?" he asked.

But Aya simply shook his head. "Nothing."

Ken went back to watering, still confused, when it suddenly occurred to him that Yuriko's attempt to whisk him off to Australia had probably been news to Aya as well. Only Youji had know how close he had come to leaving Weiss. The moment the realization hit him, Ken wanted to bang his head against the nearest hard surface. Great, now Aya probably thought that he was either a bastard who deceived women or a flake who had almost abandoned his teammates. Neither was exactly the impression he wanted the redhead to have of him.

In vain, Ken tried to catch Aya's eye, hoping to draw him over for a conversation during which Ken could hopefully clear up whatever misunderstanding had just occurred. However, the redhead was studiously avoiding him and managed to avoid his gaze for the rest of the afternoon.

Tbc...

Author's Note: I know this one has been proceeding very slowly as of late. That's partly because I don't have it all planned out. I know how it's going to end and even some of the bits that will happen in the middle, but I don't have a chapter by chapter diagram drawn up like I do for "Blood Summons." But those of you who prefer this one, don't worry, my beta reader is on your side, and she'll even resort to holding chapters of my other fics hostage to make me write more on this one.


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